Conservation

It has been noted that I seem tired all the time. In fact, I am just in a continual state of energy conservation.
I work two jobs, one of which has twenty four hour shifts and the other is midnight shifts. I also attend school. This requires a lot of energy on my part. Everyone ask me how I manage this schedule. It all goes back to my primary job as a paramedic working twenty four hour shifts.
When a medic works twenty four hour shifts, that person is expected to able to function at the same level of competence regardless of the time of day. In truth this is not actually possible so paramedic have developed various ways to compensate.
First, the newly anointed medics. They have a high energy, save the world mentality. Most are young, and can go full bore all shift. This can lead to burn out if not carefully monitored.
Second, the experienced (often burnt out) medics. They function at high efficiency for part of the shift. Depending on the day of the week and month they adjust their bodies function when the peak call volume will hit, and sleep (or at least function at minimal levels) the rest of the time.
The third category is the truly burnt out. These miserable wretches have used all their energy up and have nothing left. They function at a level that keeps them barely employed.
Finally, the venerable medic. This individual run in a semi-conscious state for the entire shift (I fall into this class). I have the same mental function at three in the morning as I do at three in the afternoon or visa versa. That is to say, I am only half awake. The other half of my mental prowess is resting in the event that I need it. When a "real" call arises, the venerable medic can pull his full awareness into action. Luckily, this doesn't happen often as full use of the venerable medics abilities leave an exhausted shell that needs a full days sleep to recover.
So, when you see me out and about, don't worry about my health. I'm not on deaths door or suffering a stroke. I'm just half relaxing. So say hi and keep the intellectual stimulation down. Part of me is sleeping.

Smile. It pissed the Universe off.

Semi-Post Apocalyptic Home

One step forward, two back. Two steps forward, one back. Progress is slow on the home front. I was told I would be able to live in my house by the 23rd of June. As a result, I did not renew the lease on the townhouse my family and I were housed.
The faithful day arrived. A beautiful day for a move. I spent the day packing out all our clothes, food and gadgets we owned. I cleaned the carpets and made sure we left the townhouse better than we found it when took up residence. I loaded the dogs and we set off to our new/old home.
On arrival, we were advised by the carpenters that the sink was clogged and we couldn't use the kitchen sink or our brand new dishwasher. It apparently was not their job to fix drains. We were also advised that the electricians had not reconnected the power to the rest of our home.
My wife quickly called the head contractor. He said that the electricians would be there in a couple of hours to restore power to the rest of the house. At least we had power to the air conditioner.
Three hours later, the electricians arrived. They informed us that they could not in good conscious reconnect our house because the wiring was not up to code. Being men of apparent very good conscious, not only did they not reconnect the rest of the house, they de-energized the only part that had power.
With no sleep, I headed to work my midnight shift and my family went to a motel. Next day, we regroup over breakfast. I called our insurance company to arrange for temporary housing for three days (that's how long the electricians with very good conscious said it would take). The department that handled housing said they would contact our adjuster and see if he would approve three nights in a motel.
Two hours later, no word from the insurance company. I've had one hours sleep. Time to check out (we don't have the funds to stay longer on our own).
New plan. The kids go to their grandparents for a couple weeks, the dogs go to a friends house for a couple days and we (my wife and I) return to the disaster that is our home. At least the head contractor restored power to the kitchen and AC.
If I want power I run an extension cord from the kitchen. If I want water, I go upstairs to the bathroom. Don't go barefoot! There are carpet staples all over the bare wood floor (OUCH!).
The Universe is kicking us in the groin, but we just keep smiling and calmly say "Thank you sir! May I have another?" We refuse to give in to this bully.
Friday is supposed to be a big day. Kitchen furniture is being delivered, electricity is supposed to be fully restored and the carpet layers are coming. If all that happens I'll kiss my own ass!
This is Goader reporting from the trenches.
Remember, "Keep smiling! It really pisses the Universe off."

Flanked

The CFB attack yestereday was just a diversionary tactic of the Universe. Though we were all exhaused, we fought off wave after wave of long range calls and short range emergencies. We thought this was the main push. We were wrong.
I get off work, tired but satisfied that I had won a great battle. I get to the remains of my home, which I thought was recovering nicely. Turns out, I only get to have power in my kitchen. The Universe convinced the contractors that my entire home, plus the heating/cooling unit were all ran through three fuses in an antiquated fuse box. The contractors tell me that they cannot turn on power to the rest of my sub-standardly wired house. No power, no A/C.
Meanwhile, Frank returns from a transport to Duke University to find that his keys have been abducted by agents of the Universe. Frank is force to pay an exhorberant fee to have a copy of his truck key made. Frank retired to his base of operations so he could rest and refit.
My wife and I soldiered on with help of Vitamin X. Painting our downstairs by the small glowing circle of a work lamp, we continued to prepare our home for reoccupation. I am sure we did a good job despite the unusual working conditions. Then again, we could have been influenced by the mood enhancers.
The day was not a total loss. I took possession of my replacement transportation. A 2001 Pontiac Aztec in very good condition.
This has been a Goader report from life's front lines.
Mood holding strong. Tomorrow is another battle. Don't give in my comrades, keep fighting. Just remember:
SMILE! It really pissed the Universe off!

Chaos County EMS

I am have a great week. Push back at the Universe. Now the Universe is trying a new tactic.
Introduce the Cluster Fuck Bomb. Since I am defending against head on attacks, the Universe in it's frustration is attacking my job. The CFB has caused the EMS system to be overloaded with transports. We have called in reserve troops but we still are struggling.
We have sent squads to Chicago, Lexington, Bluefield, Columbus, Cleveland and now Duke. All this in addition to the usual take home and lest we forget, the 911 calls (our primary concern). Yet despite all the crews shake ups, emergency sick leaves and assorted mechanical anomalies, we are still holding our own.

As my temporary partner and I head toward Paintsville, Ky, I only have one thing to say. BRING IT BITCH!!

This is Goader reporting from the battle zone. Always remember:
Smile! It really pisses the Universe off!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Damnitall!

The war goes poorly. The Universe is still on the offensive. The Resistance is on the ropes, but still fighting.

My friend and ally, Lee has taken some hard hits lately. My condolences. Now get back into the fight and give the Universe some grief.

A new ally has been brought into the war. Frank, my partner at work, was attack. The Universe tried to disable he mobility by crushing his trucks transmission. Welcome to the war.

My end of the war is still in chaos. The Universe threw a kamakazee teenager in a sedan against the side of my ambulance. This resulted in me slamming into the cabinets. On the night, my trucks battery died while my friends tried to shuttle me and my truck to my temporary base of operations. Got my battery fixed on the following Monday. Tuesday, headgasket blows. I am now limping along hoping to find a cheap replacement.
Monday (one week later), I am heading to class. A very nice Chesapeake police officer pulls me over. At that precise moment I realize that when my wife picked up the clean laundry from me, I sent my dirty uniform with her including my wallet. After a very informative lecture from CPD's finest, I am given a piece of paper notifying me of that my tags are expired. I sign the paper and as a reminder, least I forget, I am fortunate enough to be allow to give $118 to the town of Chesapeake, Ohio for this safety lecture.

It is time for the Resistance to regroup, recruit and retaliate. Join the Resistance, quit letting the Universe slap you around. For those already engaged in this conflict, I say, dig in and give it hell!
This report has been authenticated by Goader.
Remember,
SMILE! It really pisses the Universe off!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Take Two

My reporting on this version of my reality got an unexpected and most unpleasant interruption. I developed a bad intestinal virus that required prescription medications, IV fluids and bed rest.
Last Friday while at work I had what I thought was just a normal diarrhea assault. I have battled many such events in my life without problem. But this one was insidious and had to be an assault by my sworn enemy. I made it about sixteen hours, plus a box of Immodium but the problem became worse. The battle came to fruition while I was on an emergency call and I developed my own emergency situation. Though the patient was stable, verging on bogus, I still expedited the transport in an attempt to salvage my pride (and the driver's seat). I arrived in time to salvage my pride/driver's seat, but my new boxer-briefs had to be sacrificed. A doctor had pity on me and wrote a script to slow the problem and my partner started an IV. I spent the next four days in bed or on the toilet. I also had to take an online exam from the toilet.
I may have been a little harsh in my opinion of my predecessor. The Universe is strong (and aggressive) in this reality. I will have to get my offense going before this war gets out of my control.
Goader reporting
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Blogging

Ok. I am settled into this reality. My predecessor had a truce with the Universe and quit blogging. A serious breach of Shift Protocol Number 8.11d. Without some kind of record of happenings, a shifter has difficulty blending in to the new reality. Luckily, I have two dogs that kinda helped fill me in on the past couple months. Thank karma that animals coexist in multiple realities at once.
Apparently, I was keeping my head down trying to live a quiet life. Then one day I was cooking meat (and not sharing with house guardians) when the food preparation area caught fire. Large red trucks showed up and stopped the fire but we were forced to sleep in a beauty shop. During the night of the fire the dogs were told that someone kicked the door in and took everything (they blame themselves). We are now housed in a small condo and must remain quiet or get fined. I asked about the new van. Oh yeah, they mention it was getting the brakes fixed when the garage burnt down taking the car and all our remaining photos with it.
Now that we are caught up, it's time for regular proper reports and to re ignite the battle with the Universe. I will import my old reports as soon as I figure out how.
Until next time, this Todd Neal designated Goader in accordance with Earth 3Delta/¤77Firo Multidimensional Entity Identification.
Smile! It really pisses the Universe off!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T